Empowering Leaders, Managers, Educators, and Graduate Students Over Two Decades.
I have worked as a mediator with many divorcing couples who were so angry and kept putting their children in the middle. I used curiosity as a starting point whenever a couple started becoming uncomfortable in a conversation because sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding that can be cleared up quickly. At other times, there is something deeper that needs to be explored, calmly.
Conflict, when properly managed, can actually lead to more harmony in the long term.
See, when you’re not familiar with handling conflict, it’s easy to bury it, ignore it, or shrug it off rather than finding solutions that meet each other’s needs.
Worse yet, if someone hits a trigger of yours during a disagreement, you can find yourself pulled in. Against your better judgment, you might notice your voice rising… and once you lose it, things tend to go downhill from there.
Now it’s time for you to step back, become curious, and figure out what is really going on. Start a new conversation. Ask more questions for better understanding.
Soon it became evident to me that not all conversations led to equal results.
I started to notice patterns when people told me about their unresolved conflicts that were infuriating them! This led to putting together some strategies to avoid the triggers and help people understand each other’s perspective. That’s when I realized the opportunity in conflict: issues that were simmering for months below the surface, once addressed, actually created a deeper peace than all those months people weren’t talking about it!
These strategies were so effective, in fact, that my work as a mediator, speaker, and workshop facilitator has influenced thousands of people to turn the frustration and paralysis of conflict into better understanding, productivity, and harmony. These same strategies turned out to be remarkably effective in many arenas, such as, at Homeowner Association meetings, town hall sessions, and even over email.
As an adjunct professor at the graduate level, I teach these methods to future principals, superintendents, and special education administrators. Once I trained nearly 1,000 leaders in school districts, who then trained nearly 4,000 of their own staff with the same materials. As a qualified neutral on the Minnesota Supreme Court roster, I have mediated divorce and post-divorce conflict.
- Resolves Conflict
- Leads Productive Discussions
- Facilitates Challenging Meetings
- Streamlines Communication
- Bridges Perspectives
- Published author: Change Pain to Gain: The Secrets of Turning Conflict into Opportunity
- Keynote speaker
- Effective and efficient meeting facilitator
- Professional member, National Speakers Association, and Distinguished Toastmaster